Saturday, March 03, 2012

How to Treat Boils

“Tip #1: Apply a slice of a raw potato to the affected area. Raw cabbage leaf is also very good for reducing inflammation and promoting healing.” – How to Treat Boils, wikiHow.

When I am so run down that it feels as though my eyes might bleed, I get canker sores the size of overwintering ladybugs on my gums.

When I arrive home after a trip, I usually wind up in a doctor’s office, showing her a weepy rash. Look what I found in my armpit!

My favourite thing, mid-infection? To make people palpitate the tender lymph nodes under my chin. Ow. OW! (See?)

Vectors include white-footed field mice, deer, raccoons, opossums, skunks, weasels, foxes, shrews, moles, chipmunks, squirrels and horses.

I once had a pebbly rash that almost completely covered my back & stomach & breasts but once I slipped on a t-shirt you couldn’t tell.

I get hives from budgies, cats, chinchillas, dogs, ferrets, gerbils, hamsters, mice and rats. Anything furry. I once went to a Christian horsemanship camp & spent my week in the saddle with a runny nose.

Over the course of the infection, I manfully gargle hot salt water & touch the sore with my tongue tens of thousands of times a day.

I deeply appreciated the doctor’s shocked inspiration when I carefully took off my shirt.

Fly away fly away fly away home.

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